The moment when....

I've decided it's time to quit bringing up the past. I often do it around my new boyfriend, and I'm sure it hurts, but I want us to work. He is amazingly sweet and super unique. I think I'm in love with him, it's finally time that I put the past behind myself and move onto a new chapter in my life. I want to live a normal life for once, no gamer life with a long distance relationship and an attachment to a mans every word. This year I'm going to have a job, going to have a means of getting places, and I have a boyfriend. I will live the life as I should have been, happily in the arms of family, friends and with the person I'm going out with. Tonight I say goodbye for the last time. Goodbye Brad. You both ruined my life and opened it up to so much. You woke up from my slumber, not because you brought my heart out, but because you smashed it into pieces so I had no choice but to wake up. Then when I was falling into the insanity of realization, I was picked up by my hair by people who happened to care. They made me feel guilty for not wanting to leave my house, they made me feel like I needed to be with them or else they would be hurt. They gave me something to live for. I had a reason to be in reality. Then he came, like a Knight in the darkness, and he gave me a real relationship. All with hugging, kissing, and texting, He went to my school and I hadn't noticed he existed until one day I looked up and suddenly he became a possibility.

Well, saying I didn't know he existed is a bit cruel. I knew he was there, I had a crush on him before, I just never thought in a million years that he might consider me date worthy. He's in the band and highly intelligent, I'm a lazy larger girl with nothing but time on my hands and the thought of getting high in my head. What could he see in me? He is attractive and a handsome 5'9" and yet he still calls me beautiful even though I am 5'3" and awkwardly chubby. Not to mention I am a bit of an odd ball. 

Here he is, in my heart and on my mind even though he went to bed a while ago. He always does things that surprises me, or irritates me. He probably doesn't know it but I have to actually try and be mad at him when he does something that should upset me. Nothing about him could upset me that much though.

For once I feel like it might actually work. We are both the type of people who wouldn't give up easily, we are also both the type who are passively aggressive. It really is nice to have real things in common with someone.

Well....

Back on topic, since I went off to talk about how amazing he is, the reason I want to forget you Brad, is because now I have Alex. Even if we don't work out, Alex and I, I will feel happy always to know that I was able to get the chance to love him for at least the amount of time we  were together.

I love you Alex, thank you for everything you gave me in this short amount of time!